The public ceremony in which your
distinguished ancestor participated and at which the
platform collapsed under him turned out to be a hanging.
When at last after much hard work you have solved the
mystery you have been working on for two years,your aunt
says, "I could have told you that".
Your grandmother's maiden name that you have searched
for, for four years, was on a letter in a box in the
attic all the time.
You never asked your father about his family when he was
alive because you weren't interested in genealogy then.
The will you need is in the safe on board the Titanic.
Copies of old newspapers have holes occurring only on the
surnames.
John, son of Thomas, the immigrant whom your relatives
claim as the family progenitor, died on board ship at age
10.
Your great grandfather's newspaper obituary states that
he died leaving no issue of record.
The keeper of the vital records you need has just been
insulted by a another genealogist.
The relative who had all the family photographs gave them
all to her daughter who has no interest in genealogy and
no inclination to share.
The only record you find for your great grandfather is
that his property was sold at a sheriff's sale for
insolvency.
The one document that would supply the missing link in
your dead-end line has been lost due to fire, flood, or
war.
The town clerk to whom you wrote for the information
sends you a long handwritten letter which is totally
illegible.
The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no
relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation.
None of the pictures in your recently deceased
grandmother's photo album have names written on them.
No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy,
owned property, was sued, or was named in wills.
You learn that your great aunt's executor just sold her
life's collection of family genealogical materials to a
flea market dealer "somewhere in New York
City."
Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversel
proportional to the value of the data recorded.
The 37-volume, 16,000-page history of your county of
origin isn't indexed.
You finally find your great grandparent's wedding records
and discover that the brides' father was named John
Smith.